This…. All. Day. Long. For a decade now we have hoped that once our kids became adults they would mature, be respectful of both parents’ homes, and accept parental guidance, correction and input from both sides of their family. However, in the arena of strong loyalty binds, sometimes that is just not possible.
I have watched my spouse go above and beyond to parent his children post divorce. In fact, he’s been relatively fair and balanced to all of our kids whether the kids belonged to him only, me only, lived with us, or lived with their other parent (though sometimes he has been partial to his bios which is also to be expected but that’s another blog entirely). Meanwhile, when it came to his own bio child, he has only been used for what he could give and what the child had to gain. Never once have I ever seen the child do anything for my husband. Never. Not even for his birthday or for Christmas though she would do that for the family she lived with full time. On Red Table Talk recently, TI gave an interview where he said that sometimes it feels like fathers are really just used as sperm donors and a paycheck and are expected to be otherwise “hands off” when it comes to raising their kids especially their daughters. When I heard that I literally wanted to stand up and give a standing ovation, hi five, preach boy, and Madea hallelujer. Because I feel every bit of that statement.
It’s always a little disappointing when things – relationships – don’t work out like you’d hoped. But, it’s also VERY good to have clarity and revelation because from there you can move forward as an enlightened and awakened participant.
NOTE of ENCOURAGEMENT: when you begin to set boundaries with a narcissist, they will begin to hate you even more. Their loss of control and manipulation over you will make them crazy and angry. That’s ok. Once you cut those puppet strings you will begin to experience a freedom of your soul. Keep moving forward.
Coffee cheers your way guys.