Howdy from Texas y’all. Its been too long since I’ve posted in here. There’s really not much to update really except just to send the reminder that MARRIAGE and FAMILY are still the most challenging task I’ve ever attempted to tackle in my entire life LOL.
A couple of months ago Hubs and I joined the Love and Respect class at a local church. I’m not really sure what we were thinking because for Hubs it was just another added layer of stress trying to get off of work and get there on time after a 10-12 hour work day (which I think only happened two or three times because it just didn’t fit in the schedule). But, for the few sessions we did attend, let me tell you … it was eye opening.
Marriage is HARD. Like for everyone. Blended family or traditional family alike (unless you’re just amazing at it in which case this is definitely not the blog for you haha). In the case of a heterosexual marriage between a man and a woman, you’re expecting a male with his emotions, feelings and views and a female, with her emotions, feelings and views to actually come together and see eye to eye and be reasonable with one another, live together 24/7 despite their personality differences, to reach mutual decisions together concerning work, family, finances, child rearing … yeah, bahahahaha. That alone is HILARIOUS.
In the blended family arena, you have ALL of that PLUS much more. You’ve got your kids and their views, his kids and their views, your parents and their input, his parents and their input, friends from before the marriage and their input, friends since you got married and their input, the ex’s and ex’s families input… Really, there’s just way too many opinions in the mix if you know what I mean. Maybe that’s why “leaving and cleaving” was recommended. Can you say Bye Felicia?
Thankfully, I really truly honestly am the kind of person who does not care what other people think about me. To a fault even. Love it or leave it is my motto. Either stay beside me through thick and thin, success and failure, good and bad, pretty or ugly, rich or poor, or do me a favor and get out of the way. Which is exactly what I saw on RHOC this season.
Do you watch Real Housewives of Orange County? I’ve spent much of this morning catching up on my recordings (ya know, because social media has way too many spoiler alerts and Bravo keeps playing those clips and I don’t want them to ruin it for me). And OH MY GOSH, my personality this season wasn’t Tamra (my typical girl), it was Shannon Beador! Holy cow! Do you remember her early on in the show? Fit, healthy, happy, glowing, excited to be with family, annoyed with the Hubs at times but still confident, fun and sassy. Did you see her this season? Chubby, unhappy, short tempered, and telling off anyone and everyone that so much as raised an eyebrow at her, even her best friend? The reality is that her home life was getting the best of her and it spilled over into every other area of her life. Um, insert the emoji of me raising my hand here, please.
I wish I had the answer. The solution. Advice. Pointers. The experience to guide you during the crazy Shannon Beador moments, but I don’t. This “get married and stay married” and blended family gig is a journey and process for me too. Whether I’m being Tamra or Shannon. What I do know is that I am done being this season of Shannon Beador (until my next meltdown) and that it’s time for change. It may take a lot longer than I want but I promise you, it will happen. This caterpillar will be a butterfly once again.
Coffee cheers to all ☕️