Blended Family Hell … Birthday Edition

Hey y’all, it’s been awhile. I am still in the process of going through my journals over the past 6-7 years to transfer over the blended family portions into this blog. It’s been a bit more challenging than I anticipated but I’m working on it. One of the issues for me is that it is difficult for me to read something 5 years old and edit it. I find it so much easier to journal during the moment and while things are going on. Speaking of … this past weekend.

Yesterday the Hubs shot HCBM (that’s the acronym the parenting pages use that is short for High Conflict Biological Mother) a text asking why his 17 year old daughter was cropping him out of the pictures she was posting on Facebook (she is very loving and kind to his face so it was odd to see him cropped, omitted and fully deleted). I have several conspiracy theories about WHY she did that but I’m not sure which one is correct. [Sidebar – one of the theories is that HCBM pretends that Hubs is an absent parent, a bad parent, doesn’t really help out or support the daughter so the youth group and church members often donate to the child’s needs such as clothes, birthday cash, lunch gift cards, etc. If Hubs were on social media with her and he was able to tag everything he does for the child and with the child it would show the truth and would interfere with her “please pray for us it’s so hard” theory. But, anyway…]

In reply, HCBM said: how did you find her Facebook anyway, I just created it. And you kept me from talking to my son on his birthday Friday. A few minutes later another text: I am just going to delete all of her social media accounts so I don’t have to deal with this. 

Insert a dramatic pause, deep long inhale and slow loud exhale sigh here. Haha.

Now for the truth (or the “other side” as some people call it). This is the THIRD year in a row that HCBM has declined to exercise her visitation with said child on his birthday. In 2015 she text that she had a migraine and wouldn’t be able to drive to get him. In 2016 she said that she had to drop off and pick up her daughter from work and wouldn’t be able to drive to get him (daughter worked 5-9 pm and birthday visit is 6-8 and was completely doable). This year she said she would just switch weekends since he had a football dinner on his birthday and football practice on Sat morning. Keep in mind it was her weekend with the kids and she could have attended the football dinner (it was a family dinner for all players, their parents and siblings and we emailed her the flyer and info a few weeks beforehand).  She could have taken him for ice cream after and spent some time with him. She could have taken the kids for her weekend and taken the child to football practice Sat herself. She could have picked up the kids after football Saturday at Noon and spent the rest of the weekend with them (not to mention they had a youth group function at her church on Sat night and were celebrating her own birthday on Sunday).  Instead, she said she would just get them the following weekend. The kids missed their birthday celebration with her, the youth group party Sat night, and bio mom’s birthday celebration she had on Sunday after church by HER OWN CHOICE. She made that choice. She made that decision.

On Friday morning of the child’s birthday, she emailed asking what time the child would be home from football so she could call him.  Hubs said around 830 pm. We ended up home from the football dinner around 730 pm and started watching a movie. Well, Hubs was snoring on the couch within 10 minutes. When bio mom called his cell, he didn’t hear it.  When bio mom called the house, the boys didn’t hear the phone (it’s in the office). Sat morning we saw that she tried to call his cell and the house, and we told the child that. And so he called her back on Sat at Noon after ball. No big deal. Nothing mysterious. Yet her view was “you kept me from being able to talk to my son on his birthday”.

Y’all… this girl and her fictitious stories are crazy. Her mind and thought process remain a mystery.

On to the social media issue: all Hubs asked is why in the world his daughter was cropping him out of the photos she was posting on Facebook. He said it was rude and hurt his feelings.  Hubs has NO PROBLEM with his daughter having a Facebook or Instagram as long as she is not sending inappropriate messages and photos, etc.  He even has a Facebook account for her (that she doesn’t have access to) and the oldest son so he can post on their pages, tag them in photos, etc. He doesn’t even mind the kids having 2 seperate accounts. One for their mom’s house and family and one for his house and family. But rather than discuss it with him or work out something, rather than COMMUNICATE, she just lost her kool-aid, ranted, wrongfully accused him of birthday drama and deactivated all of the daughter’s social media accounts within about an hour. 

It continuously comes across as if Hubs is not allowed to ask questions or inquire about the most basic things concerning his daughter. As if he is to know his place as non-custodial parent (by agreement – he had full custody) and keep his mouth shut. It’s honestly very sad and unfortunate.

7 years down, 6 to go (which is pretty exciting because it used to be 1 year down, 12 to go).

Coffee cheers your way guys and enjoy today’s eclipse 🙂



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