Hiya Ladies!!! Welcome to Week ONE of Girl, Bye! A Mindset Makeover for Stepmoms (Pages 5-17). Have you gotten your book yet? Did you make it through our first targeted section? Personally, I don’t even know where to begin and could easily pen 10 journal entries over the quality of the content in these first few pages (and I might LOL).
Personally, I’ve been a biological mother for 28 years, a stepmom for 10 years, and the primary caregiver to my stepsons for about 8 years. But, that’s if you look at my life through the lens of parenting. I’ve been a strong, opinionated, vocal, outgoing female since birth and there is a lot more to me than the offspring I’ve produced or helped raise. I have a degree in paralegal studies with over 20 years of civil litigation paralegal experience, maintained a 4.0 GPA throughout, was accepted into both Texas A&M and SMU law schools about 6-7 years ago (but chose not to go), am a blended family small group creator that’s 3 years strong, am drafting a blended family book, am a Poshmark ambassador, a sexual health & wellness coach (a Pure Romance consultant), have a husband of 10 years, 3 active blogs, 2 dogs & a cute Mercedes Benz convertible. My life is FULL. And amazing. Being a stepmom is only a blip in my overall life. Yet, it has been the most difficult & challenging “thing” I’ve ever done. And like Naja said, “the kids are the easy part”.
When I became exhausted in blended family life, I couldn’t find the support I needed (sorry pastor friends) so I created my own. And thankfully, over the past few years I’ve found others along the way who have done the same thing. I joined “The Unapologetic Stepmom” group a year or two ago and really identified 100% with Emili’s Stepmom Mantra – Posted Here. I found it so freeing and helpful. So did my small group. Then one day, Emili had a video chat with Master Family Coach Naja Hall, and I LOVED it. There was so much truth to that chat. So, I added Naja to my watch list, discovered she had a Stepmom mindset makeover journal, and here we are now having BFHOE’s first Book Study together as a group.
Week One: First and foremost, I LOVE the reminder that I’m a badass, a Queen, and that simply taking the time to work through this journal – taking steps toward reflection and healing – is badassery all on it’s own. On page 7 she said, “There was a time in my life when this role was responsible for 100% of my anxiety, but literally took up only about 20% of my time. That means even when I wasn’t actively stepmothering, I still allowed it to seep into the forefront of my psyche and cause me grief”. This reminds me so much of all of those sermons about controlling your thoughts, the battlefield of the mind, as a man thinks so he goes. Oh y’all. I, too, am so guilty of this and it stops NOW!!!
The overall goal: to take my feelings of detachment, resentment and anxiety and the trauma produced in blended family life (she explains this in detail), and exchange it for peace, health and happiness. How? By learning to “delightfully detach from bullshit, discard bullshit, build a boundary wall so bullshit can’t get through, and be the most #TeamUnbothered gal in the land (no bullshit)”. Yes, please.
I’m very thankful that I’ve met you other “no bullshit” ladies to go through this book with me because Team Work Makes the Dream Work and none of us are alone in this. There are thousands of women in the same boat. The difference is that we are going to do MORE than just vent. We are going to do the work to grow, heal and succeed as individuals & women regardless of our blended family status.