I’ve heard so many rumors about things Baby Mama has said to people over the past 8-9 years in order to get people to (1) feel sorry for her and (2) give her money. Attention, pity, sympathy, playing the victim… it’s all part of her game and it definitely gives her the results that she wants. Innocent and kind people are still falling for it and giving her money “for the kids” along with the pity, sympathy, prayer, attention and so forth that she so desperately craves. Ok, that’s fine. BUT, please don’t judge my husband or myself for Baby Mama’s decisions, inability to handle money, refusal to work, and failure to spend the money she is given on the kid(s). Her choices in how she earns and spends her money is up to her and her alone and is NOT my or my husband’s fault. Sometimes, with some people, you can never give them enough or do enough and we have found that to be the case with Baby Mama. Over and over and over and over again including this past weekend.
Someone at Baby Mama’s church asked the boys recently if they have what they need at their Dads house – our house – and they said yes. Why would they ask that? Because at church they are treated like a charity case which embarrasses them. They’ve been treated like a charity case by Baby Mama for over 9 years now regardless of her income level. Just this past weekend someone from Baby Mama’s church gave the kids $50 each as Christmas money. But the kids complained that their mom made them use it to buy a shirt for the Christmas program and to buy their own lunch at Arby’s or Wendy’s after church. Curious church person, please give me a minute to explain to you from my perspective why we just don’t feel sorry for her anymore.
First of all, before I even get started, let me tell you that Hubs has given Baby Mama over $45,600 in cash alone since their separation in 2009 including $5,000 this year, and he is the one who has had full custody of 2 of their 3 children since June 2011 (and had all 3 kids June 2011-June 2012). When Hubs agreed that Child 1 could go back and live with her Mom (she was over 12 and really missed mom so he allowed for her to go back – which he regrets and has been a nightmare), neither party was ordered to pay child support because the Child Support Calculator showed that Mom would have owed child support since she had 2 kids to pay support on over a longer period of time. They went back to court again in 2014 or 2015 and again the court found there was no reason to have Dad pay child support to Mom because each parent was to support the child(ren) in their care and split the medical bills 50/50. Despite the court making that decision, Hubs volunteered as part of an AGREED settlement plan to pay $400 per month to the Mom on behalf of the child. (If you’re hearing crazy stories about how we just “took” the kids, go read the public open court records for yourself. She told Hubs she did the best she could and GAVE him the kids out in the hallway prior to the hearing ever even taking place and she signed an agreed order giving him back the kids. There was no “taking” them. Heck when she left him and filed for divorce she left the kids with him and didn’t get them back until she presented her lying sob story to the Judge).
With the $400 a month Hubs voluntary gave to Baby Mama, she never said thank you, never seemed grateful, and only continued to complain about Hubs. She promised to use the money on the child and swore the child would have so much more opportunity if he would just “help out more” financially. However, as soon as she got that $400, she went and bought HERSELF a BRAND NEW CAR (I only buy used cars but ok). And guess what, the child did not get anything, is 17 years old and has not even been enrolled in driver’s ed, and the child’s personal expenses have been covered on her own with money from the kids part time job. The school records even showed recently that Mom didn’t pay the child’s $10 art fee for school. The 17 year old has said that her mom won’t take her for a professional haircut so she wants to save money to get her hair done herself. Strangely enough, the mom has the money to get her own hair done. Coincidence? I think not. (In the past we would have taken the child to get her hair done ourselves but that created even more expectations and the “ask your Dad to do it” card got played more and more and more and it had to stop.) Hubs gives Baby Mama way more than enough money to care for the kiddo, she just won’t use it on the kid(s) because she has her own life to afford and supports herself with the money.
The reality is that you cannot change someone’s heart and make them VALUE a child. Whether Baby Mama’s bank account had $500 per week or $1,000 per week deposited, it has not been spent on the kids. When she received $300 per week in child support (yes, $1,250 per month) in addition to earning $400-$600 per week at her full time job, she kept all of the money from all sources and DID NOT buy the kids the things they needed. We have emails from her begging for help for school supplies because her $1000 per week income was just “not enough” (and her car was paid off at the time and the bankruptcy had consolidated her debt so I’m not sure how she didn’t have the money. She actually made MORE than Hubs did after getting support but still treated him like a loser). She paid her rent, but that’s where it ended. The kids had a place to sleep but that was all. She would not buy the kids clothes, backpacks, or school lunches. She told the school that she was a single parent that did not receive child support so that she could get the kids on free meals at school where they were all 3 required to eat breakfast and lunch daily. Yes, that is illegal. Yes, that is welfare fraud. Yes, the fraud was reported to the school and Baby Mama was caught. But they did not press charges and so her fraud continued. She told the church that she just needed some extra help as a “single mom” and they too gave her gift cards as if she was a charity case. All while having about $1,000 per week in her bank account. Not to mention the kids had warts, were failing school, their teeth were decaying. I guess homework and dental floss weren’t in the budget either. I’m not sure. And don’t even get me started about the lice infestation she couldn’t get under control.
Her income. Her work ethic. Let’s talk about that for a moment. In the 8 years I’ve known Hubs, Baby Mama has had at least 12-15 different jobs in various cities. She’s lived in 4 different cities in DFW so far, each time changing jobs time and time again. She lost her one steady job at the bank after getting into our bank records without legal consent in 2013 or 2014 (oh yes, no wonder she kept talking about how much money Stepmom made), and then went through 5 jobs in less than 18 months trying to find something that would work for her. The year all 3 kids lived with Hubs full time, Baby Mama could have taken the opportunity to do whatever she wanted to career wise or school wise, but chose to do nothing different. Then there was her worker’s comp claim. Then her car wreck claim. And her new marriage in October 2016. After she got married she decided not to go back to work at all (shocker LOL….) and she started taking online college classes which I’ll discuss again in a minute. She lives off of her current husband, her ex husband, and I guess whatever church support she can get. Her new husband has no idea what’s about to happen to his finances. I actually feel a bit of compassion for the guy. Self improvement is great. College is great. But with only 1 child at home who is 17 years old and a senior in high school, I don’t see how or why Baby Mama is not able to work at least part time. And why not work full time and wait one more year to go to college to help the child in her care finish strong? Ya know, put the kid firs? The other 2 kids live with us full time and we both work and pay for everything for them, her 3 stepchildren live with their mom full time and I’ve heard they don’t even stay the night with them so they aren’t part of her financial responsibility as far as food and clothes go. Yet still, Baby Mama will not get and keep even a part time job and she’s been delinquent on her half of the kids medical bills for over a year now.
Her spending. That’s a BIG issue. Some how some way, Baby Mama has managed to fly out of state to visit relatives, travel to the Beach, get her nails done, get her hair done, buy herself new clothes, buy herself new shoes, buy herself brand new phones, buy herself a brand new car, pay for a wedding, go out to eat weekly if not more often than that for herself, but she “can’t” buy her kids the small things they need when they need it at her house even if it only costs $10-$20 though she gets child support and promised to use it on the child (but didn’t). And for college, she’s enrolled in an extremely expensive private school. Hopefully it’s on a grant or scholarship, but probably not. Not in full anyway. Hubs and I got our degrees at community college for about $500 per semester. My adult kids attend community college. But Baby Mama is going to ORU which is insanely expensive and she’s pursuing a degree that can’t really be used anyway. She’s going to need at least a masters. But that goes back to her “spending” issue (which somehow will be Hubs fault too I’m sure LOL).
I know written blogs don’t show voice tone but truly I am laughing. I’m just sick of the lies and one sided stories. There is ALWAYS two sides to every story y’all and it is about time that you heard my perspective because I’ve been watching this pity party for 8 years. Also, facts are facts and for what I’ve said in this blog, we have attorney general records, school records, cancelled checks, certified court documents, police records from the frauds, her deposition transcript, letters from our bank, and plenty of other supporting documents scanned into our computer to verify our facts. Meanwhile, Baby Mama only has the false story she tells to people to gain their pity, attention, pretend that she is a victim, and gets people to give her money and assistance and feel sorry for her “for the kids”.
Baby Mama, I give up trying to get you to stop complaining about my Husband but please know this, this blog is so the people you trash him to will at least have the opportunity to see your situation from another perspective. So they can see the truth.
Hopefully one day YOU will see the truth too, stop talking smack about my man, and may even tell him THANK YOU for helping you and all of the kids as much as he has. He has done so much for those kids and for you even and you’re still not satisfied. Nothing he has ever done has been enough for you. Never has been. Probably never will be.
5 years to go. We’ve got this ☕️<<<<<<<